GnomeGate
by sarabeth1
Summary: "Were you sad there wasn't a garden gnome to attack this time?" Tom teased. That was it. Ressler refused to sit there and just take his crap. He flew off his bench and directly at Tom. **SERIES OF TESSLER ONE SHOTS** PART 3 NOW UP!
1. Chapter 1

Just a little something Takada Saiko wanted to see and I obliged. What happens when Ressler and Tom go at it again and wind up in D.C. Metro lock up?

Ship neutral

* * *

 **GnomeGate**

"This is all your fault," Donald Ressler growled at the man sitting across from him.

"Yeah, because I threw the first punch."

Ressler ignored the man. The man he only ever knew as Tom Keen and was surprised when the arresting officer called him Jacob Phelps. His name made no difference to him. He still didn't trust him. He still hated him. And it was all _his_ fault they were sitting in a holding cell waiting on someone to come bail them out.

"Liz hasn't come for you yet, huh?" Ressler laughed.

"She didn't come for you either," Tom mocked. He was resting his head on the concrete wall and one leg was on up on the bench.

"I didn't call her." Ressler stared at him. "It's common knowledge that since she came back to work her and I aren't exactly the best of friends." He gently touched his eyebrow, wincing when he felt the tender flesh from where Tom's fist had connected. "This is embarrassing."

"Don't come at me next time. And not in a public place. And don't resist arrest." Tom laughed as he said the last line.

Bastard found this all so amusing. It was anything but. This was going to leave a black mark on his personal file and he couldn't afford that. And Tom. Well, Tom had a nice clean slate thanks to admitting to killing a man to keep Liz out of jail. That felt like a lifetime away. And all Ressler wanted to do was punch that smug son of bitch.

"Were you sad there wasn't a garden gnome to attack this time?" Tom teased.

That was it. Ressler refused to sit there and just take his bullshit. He flew off his bench and directly at Tom. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and when Jacob simply smirked his rage boiled over. He had his arm pulled back, hand rolled in a fist, and ready to connect fist to nose when a familiar voice was heard coming down the hall. So, instead of punching Tom in his smug face he let go of him and sat back down.

"If he was my guy I would let him sweat it out. That is not conduct I want in any of my men," a voice he didn't know said.

"Well, Captain. He's not your guy. He's mine."

That's when Assistant Director Harold Cooper came in to view. He frowned when he took in the sight of both Ressler and Tom.

"Phelps, your bail has been posted," the Captain said.

Ressler could only shake his head. He was a fool to think Cooper came for him. He and Tom were now little buddies ever since they worked together to help exonerate Liz. He was a fool for it too. Ressler still respected A.D. Cooper, who was given his job back once Karakurt admitted to everything and the CIA director was taken down, but he would never understand how he could work with Tom. But, Ressler calls Cooper to bail him out and he comes for Tom. Unbelievable.

"Thanks, Harry." Tom was smiling at Cooper then turned an eye towards Ressler.

"And Agent Ressler," the Captain addressed him. "You were never here. You have your boss to thank for that."

Ressler just nodded while smiling inside. So, Cooper kept his record clean but allowed record of Tom's brief time in the holding cell to stay. He considered that a small win. He didn't get many wins so he would take it wherever he could. Tom exited first, followed by Ressler. They followed Cooper and the Captain to his office where the he gave them back their personal belongings. He was never more ashamed or embarrassed of his behavior.

No one spoke until they exited the police station. It was pretty late at night and Ressler felt bad for making Cooper get up and dressed to deal with this. It wasn't until Tom went to walk one way and Ressler the other did Cooper finally open his mouth and in one authoritative tone call out to both of them.

"No one is leaving. We are all going to my house and have a little sit down," Cooper pointed to his car.

"Did you hide the gnome Char got you to replace the one he killed?" Tom snickered.

"You're an ass," Ressler muttered as he jumped in the front seat of Cooper's car. He did need a ride after all. And he knew better than to defy Cooper. He wondered if Tom would.

"Shut up both of you," Cooper hissed as he got in the car. He waited for Tom to get in before pulling on to the road. "You two are damn lucky I have a pull. What the hell where you thinking?"

 _4 hours ago_

Ressler just wanted to forget about the shit day he had. Working with Liz was pretty much torture. They didn't really discuss much of her time on the run. She was still on modified duty, not having been cleared for field duty. So, he spent his time partnered with Samar and that was still pretty awkward for him. Sure, she seemed fine with what they had done that night. They were both in a very bad place but he couldn't help but feel strange around her. And Aram.

Today Aram found out about that night. Ressler never wanted him to know. If there was one thing he regretting about being with Samar it was what it could do to Aram. It crushed him. He held his composure longer than Ressler imagined he could before storming off. He wished Aram would have hit him in the face instead of giving him that look of pure disgust.

So, now here he sat. At a barstool. At a bar he had gone to once or twice with the team. It really shouldn't have surprised him to see Aram there, at their usual table. But, seeing Liz and _him_ there as well was enough to make his blood boil. He made eye contact with Tom Keen for a moment then turned back to his drink and finished in one go. If he didn't leave now he would regret anything he did next.

"Ress," Liz said softly as he rushed past them. "Wait up."

He ignored her and was out of the bar in no time. He made it a few blocks down to his car when he heard his voice. His body tensed. What was his problem? Tom Keen really did not know how to leave someone alone. A garden gnome paid the price for that.

"Go away," Ressler hissed as he pulled his keys out.

"Stop being an ass to Lizzie. She just wanted to see how you were doing. The thing with you and Samar? Hey, I'm not judging. Aram is a little broken up about it but he will get over it."

"Thanks for being such an expert on Aram." Hold down the rage, hold down the rage. "What they hell are you doing anyway? Consoling him?"

"Look, just stop being an ass to Lizzie. For reasons I can't understand, she misses you. And miserable Liz makes for a miserable me."

Ressler let go of his door handle and crossed his arms. He had been wanting to know for a while know but was too stubborn to ask. Asking and getting confirmation would destroy him. Living in denial was much better. But, if Liz and Tom were together consoling Aram it could only mean one thing.

"So, are you two together again?"

"It kills you, doesn't." Tom had his arms crossed now too. "That she just ran and ran away from and ended up in my arms."

In a brief moment, before he could even process it, his hand was a fist and that fist connected with Tom's face. And it felt damn good. Until his body was propelled against his car. Or until he felt Tom knee him in the kidney or until Tom punched him in the face. They exchanged blows and ended up in the middle of the street when a D.C. Metro PD car pulled up and flashed their lights. Ressler cursed under his breath.

"Great. This is great," Jacob said as the two officers got out of their car.

"Gentleman," the shorter of the two officers spoke. His hand sitting on top of his service weapon.

"Look officers, we are really sorry about this. I was just getting ready to go home. We had a slight disagreement that's all." Ressler kept his hands in the open but wanted to jam them in his pockets as he was nervous. They were just brawling in the middle of the street and he knew he had alcohol in his system. He probably shouldn't have even been trying to drive himself home.

The two officer's moved them apart to speak with them separately. He couldn't make out what Tom was saying as he himself was trying to get out of this potential mess. He could always pull the "I'm FBI" card but locals weren't usually happy when FBI Agents tried to pull rank. Ressler saw out of the corner of his eye Tom and the other officer head his way and he kept his cool until those words just spewed out of his mouth.

"Yeah, I mean he's in love with my wife so you can understand that there is some jealousy," Tom remarked and with a wink to Ressler.

And that was when Ressler lost it. Armed officer in the way be damned. He came at Tom like a linebacker going after the opposing quarterback. Tom's legs lifted up off the ground as Ressler drove them both on to the hood of the police car. He felt a pair of arms pull him off of Tom and out of instinct pulled back and elbowed the owner. Tom laughed as the officer helping him up charged at Ressler and took him down.

"Might want to stop struggling, boy scout. They might have to tase you." Tom was watching with amusement. His smile faded when once Ressler was in cuffs the officer he had been dealing with advanced on him. "Hey, I didn't do anything."

"Yeah, well, chuckles. It takes two to tango."

 _4 Hours Later – Harold Cooper's Home_

"Charlene, hunnie. I'm home. I brought the two jailbirds with me," Cooper called out as he walked through his front door.

Charlene was in the kitchen pouring four mugs of coffee. When Ressler sat down at the kitchen table she set it in front of him with a small smile. Tom was seated across from him and Ressler couldn't help but notice the soft pat Charlene placed on his shoulder. After kissing her husband and taking the empty seat at the other end of the table she took a deep breath and addressed the men.

"Elizabeth was worried sick about you two," Charlene began. "I told Harold here to keep you two in lock up a little longer but Liz convinced him otherwise."

"If he hadn't thrown that first punch, as usual, we wouldn't have been in this mess," Tom offered.

"No. You don't get to play innocent here. I'm sure your mouth ran just a bit." Charlene raised her eyebrows. "And you. Use your words before your fist."

Great he was getting a lecture. Just what he needed. Cooper just leaned back in his chair, drinking his coffee and was taking it all in. With a small smile on his face.

"I mean no disrespect ma'am but how you and Director Cooper can trust him is beyond me. The way he used Liz. Hurt her. Broke her," Ressler said noticing his voice cracked at that last part.

"Keep it shut," she snapped at Tom as if knowing he was going to mouth off. "Wait your turn." She placed a comforting hand on Ressler's. "We needed him, Donald. Liz needed him. It was a chance we had to take. I know he hurt her. I know he abused her trust. But, Liz did some pretty awful things to him as well." Charlene squeezed his hand tight and continued. "You can hate him all you want but he's not going away unless Liz tells him to. And I'm not sure that's about to happen anytime soon. She cares deeply for both of you."

Ressler snickered. Yeah, she cared about him. That was a laugh. After everything he had ever done for her she just abandoned him. She refused his help but allowed Tom to help her. If turning your back on the one person who never lied to her or broke her trust was caring, well then he didn't need that. He saw Tom was itching to talk but kept quiet. That was interesting.

"None of you were there. You didn't see how broken she was when she found out the truth. You weren't there when she explained how they fought. Physically fought. I was. I was there for all of it. And this man he destroyed her." He pulled his hand away. "And she just goes back for more."

"You weren't there," Tom began, almost unsure if Charlene would interrupt him again. When she didn't he continued. "You have no idea the things I've done to protect her. And that fight. If Liz won I'm sure we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. She started off by breaking my thumb. That was survival. It wasn't husband and wife. It was agent versus agent. You only know one side, Ressler."

Ressler looked down at his coffee. Tom was right about one thing. If Liz won there was a very good possibility that Tom would be dead. Liz was fighting for her life that day. She truly believed Tom was going to harm her. And it was true that he only knew one side, but Liz's side was enough for him. He didn't want to trust or forgive Tom. There was too much.

"You are both in love with the same woman," Charlene spoke softly.

"I'm - ," Ressler tried before Tom laughed. Charlene shot him a look and laughing stopped.

"You are both in love with the same woman," she said again. "You will never get along simply because of that. But, how about you try to get along for her sake." Charlene stood up and walked to the refrigerator. "Jacob," she said and it caught Ressler off guard that she knew he his real name. "She's still getting to know the real you. She's still adjusting to life not on the run. And Donald," she said as she pulled eggs and milk out of the fridge and setting them on the counter. "You two need to mend your partnership. Get back to who you were before all of this. She misses you. You miss her."

"Oh you boys are in for a treat," Cooper added as if trying to lighten the mood. "Charlene Cooper's famous French Toast." He looked at his watch and smiled. "She should be here soon, hunnie. I'll get her cup."

"Now, here is what is going to happen." Charlene cracked a few eggs open and began to prepare their late night breakfast. "Elizabeth is on her way. We will all eat like civilized adults. Then, Jacob you can either take the couch tonight or Harold can drive you home. Donald, Liz is coming to drive you home. You two have a lot you need to discuss. If anyone has a problem with being an adult leave now."

Ressler had never really interacted with Charlene much until tonight but he knew he liked her. She didn't take anyone's shit and she was to the point. He liked that. He supposed he could put up with Tom long enough to eat. He wasn't looking forward to having a conversation with Liz. It wasn't going to be pretty and it wasn't going to be easy. But, it needed to be done.

"Let me help you, Char." Tom stood up and made his way to the fridge. "You have any bacon in here?"

Tom and Charlene worked together at the stove making the food. Ressler stared in to his cup dreading the arrival of Liz. He promised himself he would work harder at not letting Tom get under his skin so much. If he wasn't going anywhere then neither was he. He was a part of Liz's life as well and there was no way he going to bow out to Tom Keen. Ressler turned to look at Tom and raised his eyebrow up at him while he took a sip of his coffee. Yeah, this could get interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

This is a little birthday gift to my Tessler partner in crime Takada Saiko! Happy Birthday!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first part. You are all amazing. I hope you enjoy part 2.

* * *

 **GnomeGate Part 2**

Donald Ressler watched his partner, Elizabeth Keen, from across his desk in their shared office. He had been trying to pin point what it was that was different about her today. She was extra happy. And it didn't go unnoticed. She was checking her cell phone all day and he could hear the buzz every time a text came in. He assumed it was Tom but that theory was thrown out the window the very next second when both their phones buzzed at the same time.

He watched Liz look at her phone then giggle. She giggled like a little school girl. What the hell had gotten in to her? Or who? He thought it was Tom until he checked out his message and it was from him. The man was an ass. Staring at him was a gnome and the message _I've come to haunt you from the afterlife, Boyscout._

"Son of a bitch," Ressler mumbled.

Tom Keen thought he was hilarious. He was anything but.

"Why the hell did you give Tom my number?"

Liz put her phone away and shrugged. "He asked for it. I assumed since you two called a truce you wouldn't care." Her phone buzzed once again and she quickly grabbed it.

"I can't take it anymore. What is all that about?!" Ressler asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's Brandon," she smiled.

"And who is Brandon?" Ressler felt his chest tighten.

"My date for tonight." She grabbed her bag and stood up. "I'm headed out. I'll see you on Monday."

She didn't wait for his reply but instead just walked out of their office. He heard her say goodnight to Aram and Samar then she was gone. He was wracking his brain trying to figure out who the hell this Brandon was. They had gotten close again after _that_ night. When she drove his sorry ass home from Cooper's. They talked that night about everything that had come between them and things had been better.

He knew Tom was sticking around in hopes of having a relationship with her. And he liked to rub it in Ressler's face anytime he spent time with Liz. He was such a child. Ressler was able to spend his own non work related time with Liz a few times as well. He hadn't told her the feelings he finally acknowledged he had for her but he was pretty sure she knew. Everyone knew but no one spoke of it. For that he was grateful.

So, Liz going on a date with a guy that wasn't him or he supposed even Tom was killing him. She kept it quiet from him. Did she do the same with Tom? If it was Tom going on the date he would have rubbed it in his face but if he knew she was out with another man would he? Or would he just sit at home and wallow? No, he didn't see Tom Keen as one to wallow.

"Do you know who Brandon is?" Ressler asked the moment Tom answered his phone.

"Brandon who? What is this about?" Jacob sounded annoyed.

"The guy Liz is going on a date with tonight."

There was silence. Then he could hear shuffling. "I'll be at your apartment in twenty." Then line went dead.

"But I'm not even home, jag off," Ressler huffed as he slipped his phone in his pocket. He grabbed his own things and headed out. He wasn't sure why Tom needed to come to his apartment but he might as well attempt to get home before Tom got there. He might come home to the door picked and his last beer gone.

And, sure enough. When he got home he found his door unlocked and Tom Keen sitting on his couch. Feet up on the coffee table. Beer in one hand. The TV remote in the other. Ressler dropped his bag on the chair across from the couch and crossed his arms. He wasn't happy about this intrusion.

"I brought more, "he said reaching down to his feet where he pulled a bottle out of a six pack.

Ressler moved to take the offered drink despite how much he hated Tom in his home. He sat down on the other end of the couch, taking a long swig of beer. Then he turned his head to look directly at his uninvited guest.

"All I asked was if you knew who Brandon was. Not, do you want to come over for drinks," Ressler said.

"You need to pull her phone records. Find out who she's been talking to. Then you need to run a background check on him. Make sure he's not some lingering Cabal member."

"I can't do that for so many reasons," Ressler responded. He wasn't going to be that guy. Liz deserved her privacy. But he really wanted to know who Brandon was. It was killing him. So, in the interest of her well-being it couldn't hurt to look in to him. "If I do that, the search could be flagged. I do not want Liz knowing I pulled her phone records. You have to know someone."

Tom smiled and pulled out his phone. Ressler grabbed the remove from where Tom left it on the couch and turned the TV to the news. He listened to Tom's conversation while reading the scrolling ticker on the bottom of the screen. Tom pulled the phone from his ear to look at it. He frowned then showed it Ressler.

On the phone was the picture of who he could only assume was Brandon. Very tan. Light brown hair. Brown eyes. It was his DMV picture and while Ressler wasn't one to comment on someone's looks he wasn't going to pretend this man wasn't good looking. This was some serious competition in the looks department.

"Brandon Reese. Fitness instructor. Drives a 2014 Honda Pilot. Clean record." Tom set his phone down and rubbed his eyes. "I suggested the gym to her. I told her maybe a punching bag would help."

"So, you sent in her in to the arms of this Brandon guy?" He took another drink. "A fitness instructor?"

Tom didn't answer so they fell in to an awkward silence. He knew he should kick Tom out but he didn't have the energy. So, when he finished his beer he took the fresh one that was offered to him. They watched the news in silence until Tom pointed to the wall where his old baseball jersey hung. Oh, god no. Don't ask personal questions.

"What position?" When Ressler groaned Tom pried some more. "I'm guessing…pitcher?"

"First base."

Now stop asking questions. When he saw Tom looking at the folded flag he could only pray he wouldn't pry. Wouldn't ask the personal question. It wasn't that he refused to talk about it. He just didn't like to. He lived his life by a moral code. And that code came from the man that flag was for.

"I'm sorry, man," Tom offered up.

"Me too."

Silence.

Ressler couldn't help but wonder what Liz was up to. Did Brandon the fitness instructor take her somewhere nice. Did they stay in? Where was she and what she doing? Tom was playing on his phone. It wasn't long however before he stood up and clapped his hands.

"Do you own something other than a suit? We are going to get dinner."

Ressler wasn't stupid and he knew what Tom was up to. Dinner meant he got the location, somehow, of where Liz would be. He didn't want to know. The rational, logical part of him screamed to say no. To say he wasn't going to be part of spying on Liz. But, the emotional side of him won and he walked to his room to change in to his jeans and plaid button up top. This was a very bad idea.

IIII

"I don't even want to know how you found out they would be here." Ressler broke off a piece of bread from the loaf in the middle of the table and watched as Brandon Reese fidgeted with the salt shaker for the hundredth time.

They were lucky and got a booth in the far back by the kitchen doors with a clear view of Liz's date. Ressler won the coin toss and got the better view. Once Liz was seated her back would be to them and Tom could sit with his back against the wall to observe if he wanted but until then they had to be careful. She caught them and they were dead.

"My friend called the gym he works at and said they found his cellphone and wanted to return it. The front desk girl was stupid enough to say he'd be here. Apparently, he's very excited about this date."

It wasn't long before Liz came in wearing a red dress that hung just right on her. Brandon stood up and greeted her with a hug and kiss to the cheek. This was going to go down as one of the worst nights in his life. Sitting at a restaurant watching the woman you have feelings for on a date with another man while spying on her with her ex-husband. He shouldn't have agreed to this. But it was like a car accident. No matter how much you don't want to look you still do.

The waitress walked by and Ressler ordered another beer. He'd need it to get through this. She said their meals where on the way and while he wasn't overly hungry he ordered a steak.

"We really shouldn't be here. You already found out he's not a risk."

"Not to Liz he's not," Jacob stated as the waitress arrived with fresh drinks and their meal. He watched Ressler cut in to his steak and shook his head. "I think it's still mooing."

"Shut up and eat your pasta and leave my steak alone."

Liz's laughter brought both their attentions to the table she was at with her date. Her head was tipped back and she was wiping her eye. Ressler felt his grip on his steak knife tighten when Brandon reached out and took Liz's hand. He never wanted to admit he was a jealous man but he was very jealous. At least he wasn't alone in this.

He watched as Jacob pulled out his phone. A few seconds later Liz pulled hers out, took a quick peak then put it back in bag. Ressler couldn't help the smile on his face when he realized Liz had ignored Tom's text.

"Not as important to her as you thought?" Ressler took a bite of his steak. This Brandon guy had good taste in steakhouses that was for sure.

"She's being polite." Tom motioned for the waitress to bring them another beer even though Ressler wasn't done with his yet.

They were done eating long before Liz and Brandon were. Neither one of them was interested in small talk and it was obvious Liz was safe and enjoying herself. They couldn't leave however as that would require them to walk by Liz and then the jig would be up. So, Tom ordered them a shot of something Ressler was sure was gasoline. It tasted horrible but the warmth it brought him was welcome.

Soon, Liz and Brandon left so they settled up their bill and slowly exited. They had decided to take an Uber to the restaurant for fear Liz would notice one of their cars so just as Ressler was about to pull out his phone and call for another one he heard a low chuckle. He whipped his head around to see Liz with her arms crossed but a smile on her face.

"You two think I didn't know you were back there that whole time?"

"It was his idea," both Tom and Ressler said at the same which caused Liz to laugh even harder.

"You aren't mad?" Ressler asked.

"Well, I mean I owe Samar $50 because I lost the bet but it was worth it." Liz waved as a car pulled up, Samar getting out.

"I say they pay your debt to me," Samar said seriously. "You lost because you had too much faith in these two not to follow you on a date because they are both jealous idiots." She held her hand out. "Fork it over, boys."

Ressler and Tom both opened their wallets and handed Samar some money. They got conned. She played them. They both played them. And he wasn't mad because really, she should be mad that they followed her on a date.

"Do you two seriously think that after everything I would just start seeing someone without giving you a heads up? I may be a hot mess but I'm not mean. I told you when I make a decision you will both know." Liz opened the passenger side door of Samar's car and got in. Samar followed suit and rolled down the window for Liz. "Play nice boys and don't follow us this time. It's girls night and these girls need to let loose!"

And then Samar peeled her car on to the street and they were gone.

"She played us." Tom shook his head in amusement. "Well, if it's girl's night we are having guy's night. Come on," he said as he flagged down a cab.

"You and me are not having a guy's night. No. Not happening." He watched Tom get in the cab.

"Hate to break it to you but we kind of already did. Just get in."

Sighing, Ressler got in the cab. This was not a good idea. Not at all. He didn't hear Jacob give the address so he assumed he did once he got in. He was confused once they headed towards the residential area of town and when they pulled up in front of the house, the replacement gnome glaring at him, he cursed.

"We are not doing this. What is your problem? This is my boss." Ressler was still getting out of the cab however.

"He's not mine. And he's got an impressive liquor cabinet," Jacob said as he paid the driver. "Hey, don't kill this one ok?" He pointed to the gnome as he passed it.

"You're a comedian. Really. You are."

"I know." Tom smiled that cocky smile Ressler always wanted to punch off his face.

Tom knocked on Cooper's door and it wasn't long until he opened it. He didn't say anything, just turned his back on the two men and retreated back in to the house. Tom followed Cooper in to the kitchen where he tossed his coat on to a chair. Cooper simply grabbed three glasses and a bottle of amber liquid as Jacob began to rummage in his fridge.

"How often does this happen?" Ressler asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." Cooper handed him a half filled glass. "Charlene said you are on your own tonight. She's watching some sappy love movie." He handed Jacob a glass. "So, what happened?"  
"We followed Keen on a date," Ressler began.

"A fake date the she and that Navabi set up," Tom continued.

"To catch you being a couple of jealous idiots?" Cooper finished.

"That pretty much sums it up, yes." Tom laughed. "So, boyscout here ate about a whole cow earlier so he probably won't be hungry."

Ressler was going to comment about the fact his steak wasn't that large but Tom was right he wasn't overly hungry. Tom still messed about in the kitchen throwing this and that in a dish then tossing it in the oven. When he was done he took a seat across from Ressler. No one spoke. He still wasn't sure what he was doing here with his partner's ex-husband and his boss.

"So, you two seriously followed Elizabeth on a date then?" Cooper was smiling as Tom began to fill him in.

It wasn't long before the oven dinged and Tom brought over the most amazing smelling dip and a bag of tortillas. Cooper pulled out a deck of cards and the unlikely group played a game of poker. Tom wanted to play for cash. Ressler wasn't sure he was willing to lose money to Tom so Cooper suggested they use the pennies in his coin jar. All in all for a night that began with him spying on the woman he loves and finding out it was all a scam he wasn't too upset. He still didn't like Tom. And Tom was still competition in his quest to win Liz. But, tonight, well, tonight wasn't so bad.


	3. Chapter 3

I've been dealing with some serious writer's block so my Tessler partner in crime Takada Saiko suggested I do a little Tessler piece. She requested Ressler finding out Jacob can't swim. So, here you go. The third installment of GnomeGate.

I hope you all enjoy :)

* * *

 **GnomeGate Part 3**

Donald Ressler had other plans for his Saturday afternoon off but when his partner and best friend called asking for his help he set those plans aside, jumped in to his car and hurried to her home. A new home Reddington set her up in. It screamed Liz and had a nice sized yard for her dog Hudson. The very reason he was heading to her house in fact. She called him hysterical that Hudson snuck out the front door and she looked for a while on her own but could he please come help.

Well, Ressler and Hudson had spent a good amount of time together while Liz was on the run, seeing as he took the little mutt in and gave him a temporary home. He'd never truly admit to anyone but he missed the little guy. So, if Hudson was missing then Ressler would do all he could to find him and bring him home.

He pulled in to her driveway only to find a blue mustang already parked. He knew that car and the idea that Tom…or he supposed he should start trying to call him Jacob now shouldn't he? Liz was. Cooper had started to. Everyone but Reddington. And Ressler wasn't sure he wanted more in common with Red than he already did. He put his car in park and made his way to the door.

"Let's go boyscout. My dog is missing." Tom…Jacob was already heading out the door and slapped him on the back. "You are with me. Lizzie's going to hang around here in case he comes back around.

"Great. Just great," he said through gritted teeth. Working with him to find Hudson was going to be just wonderful. "Which way did she last see him?"

"That way," Jacob pointed down the road.

"Fine. Get in." Ressler headed to his car and when Jacob hesitated he called out. "Get in or you're on your own."

"I've heard stories about you and your driving. How many accidents have you been in?"

"Shut up and get in," Ressler growled as he got in. He rolled the windows down and when Jacob got in he started the car up.

"Your car smells like cheeseburgers," Jacob commented sniffing the air.

Ressler reached behind him and grabbed a McDonald's bag. "Huds like cheeseburgers. Figured if he doesn't want to come to us we can draw him out."

"Ok, first off. You feed my dog fast food? Man. No wonder he got fat. And two…good thinking."

"Hey, pal. I kept your dog safe and out of a shelter. What I may or may not have fed him is none of your concern. If I fed the dog a cheeseburger a day that's my prerogative. You didn't seem to care about what happened to him now did you?" Ressler gripped the steering wheel tightly. They were a block down the road and he started scanning the sidewalks looking for the dog.

"I was trying to save my wife's," Jacob started.

"Ex-wife. She's your ex-wife."

"I was trying to help save Liz's life. I assumed Reddington had it covered."

"He didn't," Ressler huffed. "Or I got there first. I don't know. But, look your dog got fat because he's a little thief and stole food right off my plate. And he's horrible at holding his bladder."

Jacob chuckled. "Yeah, he's a pee machine. On that first day for Liz…when you showed up black SUV's screeching, helicopter hovering overhead, she actually stepped in his pee."

Both men chuckled, Ressler at the idea of it and Jacob probably was reliving the memory. They fell into a silence until Ressler spotted a wooded area. A perfect place for Hudson to run and play. He loved his runs and it was somewhere a little dog like Hudson could get in trouble. He pulled over, rolled his windows up and exited the car.

"I could see Hudson having a blast out here. Split up?" Jacob questioned.

"Yeah. Text me if you find him first." Ressler handed the other man a cheeseburger then headed off in the woods.

He was still annoyed Liz decided it was a good idea to pair the two of them up for this. Why they couldn't go off on their own to begin with was beyond him but she seemed to get a kick out of every time the two of them were forced to work together or see each other. It was downright cruel on her part. But, it was Liz and as much as he hated to admit it he'd do anything she asked. Even if it meant looking for her dog with the other man in love with her.

Ressler wasn't sure how long he was on his own with no luck but somehow he ended up at a pond and spotted Jacob staring out in it. There was a little dock as if someone had made it for their personal fishing hole and that's where Jacob was. He didn't say anything as he reached the other man but could tell he had approached unnoticed, which was surprising.

"What are you staring at?"

Jacob jumped and turned to Ressler. "I think...I think that's Hudson." He pointed to something dark floating in the water.

"And you aren't in there getting him?" Ressler said exasperated.

"I…," Jacob didn't finish.

Ressler shook his head and kicked off his shoes. He wasn't sure what Jacob's problem was and he didn't care. If Hudson was in the pond one of them needed to retrieve him. And it apparently was going to be him. As he jumped in, the cold water mixed with the crisp air hit him hard as he swam to the mass in the water. The closer he got the more he saw what it was. In a fit of rage he screamed and pushed the log out of the way. He was going to kill Jacob. Kill him.

"It was a log you idiot! I jumped in to this freezing cold water for a log?" Ressler yelled as he swam to the little dock. Jacob reached his hand out and helped him back up. "I can't believe you."

"I thought it was him. I couldn't see it and you even thought it was."

"I just went with what you said. Fuck man," Ressler cursed as he shivered. "It should have been you who went in. He's _your_ dog after all."

And that's when he snapped. Jacob gave him a sly smirk and Ressler pushed with all his might and Jacob fell in the water. Ressler watched with a satisfied smile as Jacob flopped in the water for a moment. Enjoy the cold you jerk, he thought. Then, he wasn't sure if he should be concerned or amused. Then Jacob went under and didn't come back up.

"Hey, man! I get it. Stop screwing around ok?" Ressler called out. And then it became apparent Jacob wasn't coming back up on his own so Ressler jumped back in to the cold water and dove under to find the pain in the ass. It took two shots at it but he finally managed to pull Jacob up and swam him to the shore. As they hit the land and Jacob was dropped to the ground he began to gag and spit up water.

"You're an ass," Jacob managed after a few breaths. "You almost killed me."

"I saved your life. What super spy assassin doesn't know how to swim? Are you for real?" Ressler stood.

"I've never been a fan of swimming. Let's leave it at that."  
"You sailed away. On a boat! How does someone want to live their life on a boat and not know how to swim?" Ressler reached his hand out to help Jacob up. "If I had known I wouldn't have tossed you in."

"Do it again and I'll kill you."

"Stop being a baby. I'm cold and want to change." Ressler walked to the dock to retrieve his shoes then headed to his car.

He opened the back of the car and pulled out two blankets and tossed one to Jacob then shut it. They rode back to Liz's in silence with the heat cranked up. When they arrived back they stood at her front door, both wet and pathetic looking. Liz chose not to speak as they entered. She watched with curiosity as Ressler opened his go bag and pulled out some clothes.

"You need dry clothes or do you…," Ressler trailed off unsure of the status of his relationship with Liz at this point and if he had clothes there.

"It's the least you could do after nearly killing me," Jacob huffed as he caught the offered clothes then disappeared down the hall.

"We didn't find Hudson. I did however discover he can't swim. That was fun," Ressler offered as he headed down the hall as well to change.

After he was changed out of his wet clothes and in his dry clothes he wandered down the hall to find Liz in the kitchen pouring three cups of coffee. Jacob was already at the table. Liz set the coffee pot down and grabbed Ressler's wet clothes then disappeared herself. Ressler took a seat next to Jacob.

"I really am sorry." Ressler took a mug and sipped on the hot beverage.

"You didn't know. Besides, I did make you think a log was Hudson. I suppose I deserve it." Jacob reached across the table and grabbed a cookie that was sitting on plate. "You don't think Liz made these do you?"

"The house is still standing. I'm going with no."

And Jacob chuckled. He slid the plate over to Ressler who grabbed a cookie and they both stared ahead. Until, they heard the patter of little paws and that distinctive little bark that only Hudson could make. They both whipped around in their seats to see Hudson looking up at them and Liz coming around the corner with a 'don't kill me' look.

"So, funny thing guys. He was in the laundry room the whole time. Hiding in a pile of blankets." She shrugged. "But, look on the bright side. You learned something about each other today that you never knew before."

"She owes us dinner." Jacob turned to Ressler.

"An expensive dinner," Ressler added. "I'm feeling steak and lobster."

"If you two will get along long enough for a dinner I'll gladly buy." Liz smiled as she wrapped her arms around both men.

If it made her happy that they got along then Ressler decided he'd try harder. It still didn't mean he wouldn't go down without a fight when it came to who she was going to choose. She said she was still trying to learn who she was on her own. And they both accepted that. Besides, now Ressler knew how to get rid of Jacob easily.


End file.
